Engagements

OK - I'm going to say it one last time, and it's just going to have to count for everyone.

"Congratulations!"

There. I've said it. I'm happy for you. I think it's great that you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think all of your wedding ideas are great. It's going to be beautiful and who cares what your family wants - it's your day and as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

Now, when is this going to happen for me??????????


I was never one of those girls who wanted to get married. I've always been fiercely independent, and I realize that this is more about feeling left out of the club that everyone is joining, than really being ready to make a lifetime commitment. But goshdarnit, I WANNA GET MARRIED.

Every week another friend gets engaged. I think I'm in the last 30 girls in my high school class to get married or engaged...and about 20 of them have long-term boyfriends and will get married soon. I'm seriously pushing the point where I can barely feign happiness and support for my friends. Which then just makes me feel like a bad person - and the fact that I'm a bad person is why I'm going to be single forever.

And it's not just the joy of having a lifelong companion, you get prizes for it. Meanwhile I have to buy all of my own kitchen gadgets and linens and undies. bah! Not to make this all about consumer goods, but really? Just cause I'm single I don't need a kitchenaid mixer? Sigh.

In all seriousness, I'm having a really tough time with this - inexplicably tough. I really just want to be happy for my friends and secure in the knowledge that at the right time and with the right person, this will happen for me, but I can't. I have very little faith in happy endings for me. So the fact that I'm very single basically destroys the hope that I'll be joining the married club any time soon. And yes - I know - when I stop looking, I'll find someone (god, I could write a whole entry on idiotic that sentence is), but my patience is thin.

So, in the meantime - Congratulations.

Ring photo courtesy tiffany.com