truly happy for you?

Two of my friends bought houses this week. I'm not sure how I feel about it...a little jealous, a little more happy, a little relieved that if someone else is following the prescribed course I can do my own thing.

I'm jealous that they have a 15% downpayment on a house and parents to makeup the difference to 20%. I keep reminding myself that when you start out even, or ahead as is largely the case here, that kind of stuff is possible. I don't want to sound like these friends don't "work" but bought my first car. I'm going to be paying for my degree forever. I don't need to think about accepting any gift from family cause anything is better than nothing.

I'm happy for them. Mostly cause their happy. And you should be happy when you're friends are happy. But I'm relieved its not me. I'm not ready for all that. I'd love to have a larger space. And hopefully soon (ok, realistically in about 10 years unless I marry REALLY well), I'll be able to afford a little condo. But the idea of being married and owning a house and having that kind of an albatross sounds kinda sucky to me. I know - I'm the very person saying I want to get married. Maybe I don't know what I want.